


Knight in Red

by Zephyr (Fervent_Ascension)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abominations, Action & Romance, Bittersweet, Demons, Emerald Graves, Emprise du Lion, F/M, Memory Loss, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Red Lyrium, Red Templars, Sarcasm, Shapeshifting, The Fade, Thedas, Wow this tagging thing, euugh Orlesians, lets see how this goes, red lyrium corruption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 21:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7454398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fervent_Ascension/pseuds/Zephyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Maker had decided that he hadn't stomped on my life enough apparently. No No, he decides to throw my betrothed back into the mix. Because he can. Breaking my heart again to see him, a Red Templar, with no memory of who I am. He still retains his mind, but it won't be long before he goes all spikey. So now I sit, arms bound together, anxiously awaiting my fate from the Templar Captain. My only regret is not being able to save the child. The new passenger on my little voyage, one I didn't know about until only a fortnight ago. </p><p>Oh, and I still suck at shooting fireballs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blind Rage from an Angry Mage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is Beauty  
> She is Grace  
> She'll set fire to your face
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age, because if I did, I wouldn't be driving a 2013 Ford

I recognized the Red Templar Captain that had taken him from me. So I did what any normal girl would do. Shot a bolt of fire at the sod. _Brilliant_ , I know. Especially because I did it out of blind rage and totally missed. They rose, panicked, and tried to find a source of the fire. My companion swore and shook her head.

“We are here to _scout _. Not shoot fireballs at the blighted Templars!”__ The dwarf was seething. An arrow whizzed past us. I looked over at it sticking out of a trunk, shocked at how close it had come to my face. She did the fancy little thing where she disappeared in a dark cloud, leaving me for the wolves _This is why you shouldn’t leave Skyhold_. I thought. I heard her voice up in the trees but couldn’t see her. “And if you do, don’t sodding miss!” She reappeared as she sent an explosive arrow flying towards the marksman, successfully taking him down. I saw a few Templars approaching my position and so I Fade Stepped behind a rock. Holy Andraste, fighting is hard enough without my added complications. Realizing that I had no other option than to stand my ground, I grabbed my staff. I stared at it, trying to remember how to use it. I hoped that the harder I stared, the more I would remember. I looked up when I heard another disgusted grunt.

“I’m a healer dammit!” I shouted to the trees, cursing as I realized I had just given away my position. Maker, I was really bad at this whole ‘combat’ thing. She fired another arrow, hitting a knight in the leg. I shrugged and twirled the staff, little pathetic bits of fire came spitting out. _Oh forget it._ I abandoned the idea of attacking with it as I put the closest attacker in a stasis. I came up to him and a thought came to me. I shrugged and went with it. Unlatching my staff again, I wound up and smacked the Templar as hard as I could with the blunt steel edge. To my luck, It only successfully made him more angry and my paralysis glyph was wearing off. _Makers butt._ Thankfully a few well-placed arrows from my companion killed the man. I latched my staff back into place. I would have to figure out how to use it later. I saw more of them coming towards Adna’s tree. I went to help, but the dwarf had disappeared from sight, and had thrown a flask of metal corroding acid toward the bunch of them. Andraste she was good, what in the Fade did she need me for? _ _ _ _Knock on wood, don’t leave me alone, my capable dwarf friend.____

I decided that slowing the Templars down or freezing them was the best i could do at the moment. So I kept running about, putting Templars in stasis while my companion shot them down. Not paying too much attention, I almost tripped on a tree root, like the graceful lady that I was. _The roots are huge in the Emerald Graves, everyone would have a hard time._ I convinced myself. I got annoyed jumping and frolicking over the foliage like an idiot and I decided that Fade Stepping couldn’t hurt. And the fact that I was starting to feel dizzy did not help my stamina. And so I did. Through one of them, freezing him in place.

“You’re welcome Adna.” I said smugly as I Stepped past her tree. Looking up I saw as she glared at me and flipped me off. _Awww dwarves are so cute when they’re filled with murderous rage._

“Ugh,” came her reply. I guess I kinda deserved it, I had gotten us into this mess. I stopped abruptly as I realized I had Stepped too far, almost off a small cliff. I stood on the tips of my toes, wobbling, trying to regain my balance. I heard footsteps approaching and so I Stepped to the side in a curve. I cocked my head back as I sprinted forward to see that I had in fact evaded an abomination. _Yes! Deal with it, Spikey._ I focused again to see where I was going to see a large reddish silver shape and Bam! Slammed into one of the Templars, knocking us both off our feet. I rose up and rubbed my head, cursing myself. The Templar rose in a swift motion, and advanced toward me, scowling. My breath hitched.

I knew that face.

His narrowed eyes were a ghastly red instead of green but it was him. He was coming towards me with his sword drawn, no sign of recognition.

“Ryaden?” His name slipped out of my mouth. He hesitated for a moment, looking down, but then kept on advancing. Maker, he was alive, and not a monstrosity! My eyes widened as I realized Adna had a clear shot to his unprotected face. I was right, I looked up to see her, aiming straight for his forehead. The blighted idiot forgot his helmet, _again _.__ He turned his head just as she released the arrow, realizing his mistake.

I panicked and put up a barrier in front of him, the arrow exploding against it. The force from the blast shot me backwards and a tree broke my momentum. I fell to my knees and tried to shove down the wave of nausea that was rising. I looked over at where my companion had been, nothing. I thanked the Maker that she disappeared again, probably out of arrows. Or she had fled, knowing that I was a lost cause. I turned my head back towards him. He stood in the same spot looking over at me in confusion. He knew that I had just saved his life, a Red Templar. I sighed in relief but only got half of it out as something blunt hit me in the back of my head.

___

_*Before*_

I knew they were wary to have a mage treat him but his injuries were not of the normal sort. I looked down at the Templar, a nasty gash on his cheek. He was unconscious thankfully, because he no doubt would have protested a mage healing him. They had removed his armor, which had been burned by the Rage demon. I started working, letting myself get into a healing mode. I started on the worst of them, the gash on his face. It was bleeding profusely and had been for too long. I cleaned the blood the best I could before putting my hands on it. I focused my energy on mending the cut and a blue light shone from my hands. I started to breathe harder at the effort. But I was successful as it began to close. Once the bleeding had stopped, I washed the wound carefully before bandaging it. I decided to let it scar, a reminder for him.

I slumped onto the floor next to the cot exhausted. Treating the burns had been no fun as I tried to make it so they wouldn't scar. Maker, he better be grateful for it. I looked over at the Templar resting peacefully. He had dark hair that perfectly complemented his olive tan skin. He had a strong jawline, stubble just beginning to show. As I looked at him I wondered what color his eyes were. Brown probably, matching his hair. He sucked in a breath as his eyes opened in surprise. I startled, jumping up a bit. He looked around in confusion, taking an inventory. He tried to lift his head up but I came over and gently placed it back down on the pillow.

“Whoa there, stay still,” I ordered. His eyes met mine and I saw that they were an emerald green.

“You're definitely not the usual old witch,” He blurted. _Uh, thanks?_ I think he meant it as a compliment.

“Come here often?” I smirked as I went to dress the smaller cuts on his arm.

“I will now, seeing that a pretty girl will be taking care of me.” I stopped for a moment as I smiled. He panicked a little. “Maker’s breath I said that out loud."

“Hush, I need you still while I dress this,” I laughed as l gently undid another bandage on his head. It was new enough, but I needed something to distract myself. It was good I did, because the wound had begun to bleed. I cleaned it again carefully, but he winced at the contact.

“So, was it an exceptional fight, did my amazing Templar skills scare the demon right back into the Fade?” He raised an eyebrow and I suppressed a smile.

“Stop moving dammit,” I scolded, but my tone was light.

“Yes pretty healer lady.” I couldn't help but grin as I saw his reaction. He closed his eyes in embarrassment as he realized he did it again. I placed my hand on the gash and decided to give it another go. His staring made it more difficult to focus. But I was partially successful as the wound looked a week old instead of only hours. I wrapped his head up again,

“If you would count rushing in without a helmet and tackling the beast,” I smirked. “Then yes it was _exceptional._ ” He gave a mock frown.

“You wound me,” he joked, eyes lighting up when he saw me grin. I felt a wave of tiredness come over me and I yawned. Looking out the window I realized just how late it was. I gathered my supplies and decided that I would clean and put everything away later. “Wait,” he called, causing me to look back. “Will the pretty healer lady tell me her name?”

“Only if the demon-tackling Templar tells me his first,” I shot back, and he gave me a lopsided grin.

“Ryaden Durante, my lady." He tried to look suave when he said it. Which he completely failed at, due to matted hair and a bandage across his face. _Oh Maker, his failing miserably was so endearing._

 _“_ I’m Solana Surelle, Ser Templar.”


	2. Things Just Got Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fact that I'm a hopeless romantic really gets in the way of my natural cynicism

Two of the abominations held my arms as I hunched onto my knees. On cue they threw me down into the dirt. My head was pounding, and I could feel the stickiness of blood where I had been struck. I looked up in defeat, knowing what they were going to do. I was an Apostate mage and part of the Inquisition, their two favorite things. A gloved hand raised my chin up, and I sucked in a breath. It was the Captain, the one who had captured Ryaden...among other things. I didn’t have to look far to find my betrothed, and my heart sunk in my chest.

His stare was red, void of anything other than rage. The veins in his arms had started to glow, his skin a deathly grey. Small red crystals had erupted from his hands, giving the appearance of claws. He noticed my staring and narrowed his eyes.

“Well well, luck has favored us this night. Caught an Inquisition patrol, and look what was in it.” He gestured at my intricate betrothal necklace. “Your husband was a fool to let you go, I delight in imagining his reaction when I send your head back to Skyhold.” I dropped my head, and let the hair hide my face. He gave a wicked laugh, as he thought my reaction was that of defeat. But no, I was hiding a sad smile. He did not remember me. And thank the Maker that he didn’t. Even if I knew I was going to die, at least I could hold on to this little victory.

“Then do get it over with,” I snapped, forcing myself to look the creature in the eye. Next to him Ryaden shifted his weight and tilted his head a bit, in confusion. He had the slightest recognition of my voice.

“No no my dear, you are a very special prize to us. Not often do we get a mage to infect, let alone a healer, we could have use of you.” My eyes widened, of course they weren’t just going to kill me. “Should be an… _interesting _experiment,”__ He got close, stroking my face with his grotesque hand. I closed my eyes as two wet trails formed on my cheeks. I could try to go down fighting, shift into a dragonling. But I hadn’t been able to shift within the recent week, always turning into the wrong thing, usually a mammal. I felt a flutter in my stomach, the reason my magic had been 'misfiring.' “Unfortunately, the Venatori have been scarce lately…” He sneered, referring to the Inquisitor Trevelyan wrecking their stronghold in Redcliffe. “We will have use of you in the Emerald Graves. Your Inquisition will no doubt try to wrest control of the area. So it is simple, you will aid us, or you will be punished.” His expression turned dark, almost wanting me to disobey.

“What? No blood sacrifice? I thought you people were fond of that sort of thing.” I raised an eyebrow, sounding much more confident than I felt. I didn’t want to let him know how much he got to me. He got down and gripped my face with his hands. I tried to get out of it, but he was too strong. My facade faltered, his rough touch causing me to suck in a breath. I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the memory. 

 _"_ Pretty and sassy. A lucky find, a shame I can’t keep you for myself ” His eyes drifted downward, hungrily undressing me in his mind. I squirmed against his grip, wanting nothing more than to get away from the creep. “But perhaps later,” thankfully he released my face, and I rubbed it subconsciously. I had a stream of curses I wanted to throw at him, and myself partially. I should have killed the bastard when I had the chance. Ripped his miserable eyes from their sockets, so he couldn’t look at me like that again. I crossed my arms over myself, giving the illusion of modesty. He walked off and I shifted uncomfortably, unaware of what I was supposed to do. They forced me to my feet, and led me to their camp. My head was pounding the whole time. My trying to think of an escape was making it worse. Also there was the issue of Ryaden. Could I just leave him, now that I knew he was still alive? He did not remember me, that much was obvious.

But as much as it saddened me, I knew it probably was for the better. What would his remembering bring? Only suffering. Once we set up camp, my healer senses were tingling. I tried to distract myself. A ridiculous thought came to me. I wanted to shout out, ‘hey Ugly’ and see how many of them turned around. I suppressed a giggle as I thought about it, but knew it probably wasn't the best decision. My mind went back to healing. I could tell there were injured and I longed to help them. I crossed my arms, trying to suppress it. Near me, a younger Red Templar had one of Adna’s arrows sticking out of his shoulder. _Nope. Don't do it. You are a nug humping idiot if you do._

“Dammit, I'm a nug humping idiot.” I cursed under my breath, not surprised at how I had picked up Adna's slang. A Templar stared at me for a moment, and I cursed again, realizing he had heard me. _Eloquent as always, Solana. You sure do have a way with words._ “Hey you, Greenie!” I called.

_And your brilliance continues._

“The one with the arrow sticking out your shoulder, come here.” I ordered. Greenie looked to Ryaden, who just stared at me, trying to figure me out. I then deduced that he was second in command in their little operation. “I can heal you,” I pursed my lips. “Unless you want that arrow to become a permanent accessory. But hey, who am I to judge?”

“You are warned, if you try anything clever we will Smite you.” Ryaden threatened.

“Yeah yeah, Templars breathing down my neck. What's new?” I crossed my arms. After another moment of hesitation, Greenie made his way over to me. He sat in front of me, his back turned. He looked back when I didn't do anything. “Your armor?” I reminded, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice. He hesitated, knowing that he would be more vulnerable. But Ryaden came over, a hand on the hilt of his sword. He took the top of his armor off, Leaving a blood stained tunic. I motioned for him to move it up. He did, almost sheepishly. I looked at the arrow, it was one of her poisoned ones. I cursed a little, knowing that it just got more difficult. “It's poisoned, I can cure it, but first I have to take the arrow out. On three I want you to breathe out as hard as you can, you got that?”

“Yes,” He confirmed, wincing as I positioned my hands around the arrow.

“Alright, One, two...three!” He did as I said, and breathed out hard. As he did, I yanked the thing from his flesh. He let out a little yelp, but he relaxed as the thing was free. “Perfect. Now I am going to counter the poison, this may burn a little. Please don't flail and smack me, I bruise easily,” I said, my tone lightening. Healing always made me feel happy, I couldn't help it. He snorted a bit but nodded. I placed my hands on the sickly wound, closing my eyes. I heard Ryaden unsheathe his sword a bit. Whispering the spell, I sought out the poison. It was hard, because the Red Lyrium was a poison in a sense. I skirted around it, until I found the bulk of it. Breathing deeply I pulled the toxin from his blood into my hands.

I hissed, as I messed up the spell a bit. No doubt from my pounding head. The poison retreated, but had burned my hands in the process. It stung like no other, but I clenched my teeth and tried to keep my voice steady. “Good job Greenie, now I am just going to close it.” I explained. My hands shone with a pale blue light as I poured energy into it. My magic stirring his flesh, causing muscle and other tissue to knit back together. Once it was, I cleaned the remaining blood from his back, and tunic. On the brink of tears I handed his clean tunic back to him. I rose, looking to Ryaden. “Now...If you please..I would like to wash up..” I gritted my teeth as I gestured to the stream a few leagues away. I started walking, holding my hands in front of me. They were blistered and red from the toxin. Beginners mistake. I hurried and placed my hands in it. The cool water taking some of the sting away. I sighed in relief, but then I felt a twinge in my stomach. _I know little one, I'll get food as soon as I can._ As if the baby could hear me. Using the rest of my energy, I healed my hands. I heard the clank of metal footsteps, and I turned my head. He stared at me, looking mildly confused.

“We are your enemies,” He stated. “Yet you continue to heal.”

“I can't really help it, it's a part of me.” I answered, running my hands through the water one last time.

“...Still, its odd....” He said, eyeing me warily. No doubt he was thinking of the barrier I put up to save his life. Not wanting to address that instance, I got up and marched toward the camp.

\---

We had been trying to find the Orlesian refugees and their camp, but to no avail. They seemed to have chosen a strategic spot. I followed quietly, using all my energy to traverse the Graves. There were rocks and tree roots everywhere, it took all of my focus. All of our focus it seemed. I was climbing a giant root when I heard a strangled yell from one of the Red Templars. He was pinned by a bear the size of a mountain. The thing was a white grey and had fur hanging off of it. Its eyes were wild, and hungry. Hungry enough to attack a whole Red Templar patrol. I was amazed, the bear had managed to sneak up on whomever as he passed its cave. The bear. Actually snuck up on someone. I rushed to the sound, trying not to fall on my face. W _ow, either that’s an amazing creature or….of course, Greenie._ The animal rammed into him and was now advancing. Damn the thing was ugly, but it was sure effective. Three more normal bears crept out of the cave and began to attack. The sheer size of the creatures obviously helping. The Red Templars did not seem to have much experience with larger stronger foes. Greenie called for help and my captors ran to his aid, trying to reach him before the bear. But I knew they wouldn't, the thing was much too close. Biting the inside of my cheek I huffed and shot a bolt of fire at the bear. It hit it, successfully drawing its attention away from the Red Templar….to me. _I actually hit it!_ I was almost too excited to care, almost. The fire barely seemed to faze the creature, just make it more angry. It sniffed and turned abruptly, like it could smell that I was different.  Oh great its charging me. It probably thought that I was an easier target. Which wasn’t too far from the truth

“Andraste's toenails.” I swore as it came towards me, dark claws glinting in the sunlight. The Templars engaged it, but it really didn't seem to care. I was its prey now, probably because I would be more tasty and less poky. I didn’t shoot any more flames at it. I didn't want to accidentally set a Templar’s hair on fire. Then I would really be in for it. I backed up as fast as I could, trying to keep my balance. Should I shift away? Shoot fire? It was too close to do the latter, or else I would end up just as hurt. 

It was right upon me when I panicked and did what my instincts told me. I shot Horror into it, and it stopped as it growled. Swinging its head back and forth, trying to get whatever it was out of its head. I stuck my hands over my ears as it began to snarl. It roared in pain as it closed its eyes. Seeing the opportunity Ryaden lunged for it, sticking his sword through its eye. It really roared then, and batted him away with an enormous paw. He flew backwards and crumpled on a large rock. He grunted as it seemed that he landed wrong. Growling deeply the bear turned away from us, trying to get away from whatever had caused the pain. It turned on its heels to get as far away as it could. 

"Yeah you better run, I'm a Witch of the Wilds" _Err....at least I was._ I whispered, dusting myself off and giving a victory nod. It ran in the opposite direction. Though I could tell a few of them wanted to, we didn't give chase

\---

That night I managed to choke down some food. I had to take every bite slowly so that I could get it down, even though I was hungry enough shove it in my mouth like a wolf. The bears had provided for some interesting nourishment, as I had never had any before. I concluded that meat was not the best option and settled for some dried bread.

The Red Templars still eyed me warily, not knowing really what to think. They knew it was my doing that made the bear vulnerable, and also that I had saved Greenie, twice. It had been three days since I joined them and Ryaden was still the one to watch me. The encounter with the bear had only occurred only a few hours previous. Still, he bound my hands together in front of me, and sat up against a tree. I assumed he did not trust anyone else to watch me just yet. We sat there in silence the past few nights and it bugged me. I think he was starting to warm up to me a bit, seeing how I helped them defeat the beast.

“That was...uh...thank you for saving Ser Erik. Twice now.” He said, trying to come up with the right words. _Makers toenail fungus, what do I say to him?_ “Though I don't quite understand. We are your enemies.” His words held an inquisitive tone, like he was asking about the barrier I put up. I ignored that part of his question.

"Healers curse, I guess. I can’t stand idly.” I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant 

“...But we just tried to kill you a few days ago. Seems foolish.” He observed, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I am only human, there are a few people in this world that I would not heal…” _Like the Captain, that little bastard,_ “Your Coryphenius guy to name one.”

“Corypheus,” He corrected, amused by how I would obviously bad mouth his god. 

“Yeah I know, I just like calling him by the wrong name.” I mused. Twiddling my thumbs. I could feel something wasn't totally right with him. "Makes me feel empowered."

“So what do we call you?” He asked, cocking his head. His tone was light enough and I couldn't help myself.

“Hmmm.  Nasty Inquisition Pawn? Wait … how about Blighted Mage or Demon Bait? No no...Sneaky Witch. That's a personal favorite.” My lips twitched into a small smile. He gave an amused laugh. _Or My love...you used to call me that._ I subconsciously slapped myself on the cheek. Telling myself to keep it together.

“No really, my lady.” _My lady? Oh sod it, that's worse._ I almost wished that he had turned into a complete arsehole like the Captain, then I would not have these conflicting feelings. But no, actually I did not wish that. This was complicated, but preferable. 

“Healer is fine. Or just Mage. That's what Greenie calls me. And it's what I'm usually called anyway.” I answered, trying to keep my voice casual. I aaknew why I wanted to keep it to myself. A part of me wished that he would remember it, call me by it like he used to. 

“Greenie?”

“Oh that's not even the best one. That abomination over there is Spikey,” I said, pointing. “That one there is Ugly, and...oh, the blonde one  is Anger Issues. But my favorite, is the behemoth. His name is Giggles.”

“Maker,” He snorted out a laugh. “Do I even want to know mine?”

“I don't have one for you yet.” _Charming. Handsome. Love. My betrothed,  Take your pick._ I gave myself  another mental slap of the face. “I think I’ll stick with Ser Ryaden for now. I heard Ginger call you that.” I shrugged. He looked like he was deliberating.  

“You know, Sneaky Witch doesn't really suit you. I'll just stick with ‘my lady’ for the time being.” He shifted and winced a bit as he adjusted. I reached out with my mind and felt the pain radiating from his wrist.

“Let me look at your wrist,” I said, gesturing to it.z

“No. It's fine.” He said stubbornly.

“It's broken.” I stated, pursing my lips. “I need to set it or you’ll never hold a sword correctly again.”

“Fine. But try anything-"

“And you'll Smite me. I know.” I interrupted, rolling my eyes. This seemed to amuse him.

“You’re pretty smug for a prisoner,” He pointed out, his tone lightening a bit. He rose carefully and came up by me.

“Well I’m not going to just bow down and take it like some Orlesian wench.” I explained, snorting a bit.

“I take it you're Fereldan?” He asked, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Well if it's one thing that we Fereldans share, it's a general hatred for the pompous idiots.” _And love for a good ale._  I gestured for him to hold his wrist out for me. He carefully took the bloodied gauntlet off, gritting his teeth. Once he held it out, I took it and moved it around a bit. It was an open fracture, the bone was slightly poking out of his skin. Dried blood had caked around it, and I was surprised he hadn't tried to do something to it. I held his hand there for longer than I should have. Relishing being able to touch him, but I had to hide my sorrow when I saw the red crystals.

“What if I told you I was Orlesian?” He tried to look perturbed but I knew him and his facial expressions. ...And his complete family heritage. He had told me just about everything when we were at the tower together. We had planned to escape and find refuge with them while he looked for work. But the blasted war had started and torn us apart. I closed my eyes and shot magic into it, molding the bones back into place. He jumped up a bit, but gave a sigh of relief as the pain melted away.

“You're not. I know an Orlesian when I see one. All pretentious and acting like they're better than everyone else. And they are all obsessed with how they look, especially their hair." I opened my eyes again prodding his hand to check to see if I had done it correctly. "Now this” I said, wryly, gesturing to his dark hair. “Is not Orlesian.”

“Are you insulting me, really? With that tangled mess?” He teased. I dramatically rolled my eyes. He laughed at my reaction, a sound that I had missed so much.

“My hands are _literally_ tied.” I pointed out, lifting them up.

“I’m kidding, it kind of suits you.” His lips twitching into a small smile. 

“Oh wow thanks,” I said with mock disapproval.

“But you are right. I'm not Orlesian. I’m as Ferelden as it gets. I even miss the wet dog smell.”

“I can't say I miss _that part_ particularly.” I joked, putting his arm back down. “Careful with that, especially in the next few days. The magic will hold it together, but your body still has to finish patching it up. It will be sore for the next week or so.”

“I...uh..thank you.” He stuttered, flexing it and unsheathing his sword, seeing how it felt. I jumped a bit when he did, my arms subconsciously going to cover my stomach. He sheathed it, giving me a strange look. “I'm not going to hurt you,” He reassured.

“I know, it's just...habit.” I explained, my voice shaking a bit. I didn't want to tell him yet. Or at all really, but I knew that at some point (pretty soon) I wouldn't be able to hide it any longer. My belly already pressed against my undershirt uncomfortably. Thankfully my robe was loose enough, but if I took it off my condition would be hard to miss.

As if in response to my thoughts, I felt a little flutter in my tummy.

\---

*Before*

He was mostly sitting up now, which was a sign that he wasn’t too dizzy. It had been a week since he had first come here. I could tell he wanted to talk with me, but was probably trying to come up with something clever to say. When I was close enough he gestured to his broken arm, a playful expression on his face. “Do I get extra strength in it or something as a side effect?”

“You wish,” I giggled. “I'm good, but I'm not _that_ good.”

“You can make it so things won't scar though, that's pretty neat. Good thing I'll get my face back.” I turned away from him, gathering a few healing books I had left from the previous nights.

“Nuh uh, I’m leaving that one. A reminder to cover your face before rushing into the fray. Besides, you should thank me,” my voice taking a teasing turn.

“And why is that?” He asked, holding back a grin.

“Chantry girls love men with scars. I'm doing you a service really,” I turned back to look at his reaction.

“Unfortunately none of the Chantry girls have caught my attention,” he gazed at me admiringly. I turned my face away so he couldn't see the redness in my cheeks. Maker what was happening to me? “But tell me Solana, what do... mage girls think?” _Oh Maker. Don't answer that. Just leave Solana._

“Well, I could only speak for myself,” I started, my sane side cursing the other. "And I think I would have to...agree with the Chantry girls on this one.” He failed at suppressing a smile.

“Oh good,” he smirked, his cheeks turning a shade of pink.

 

 


	3. Of Demons and Daydreams

I skirted around the green tinged memory, smiling sadly. I viewed it is an onlooker this time, but it was still clear in my head. I wonder if, knowing all I do know, if I would still have chosen the same. Yes, I would have. There was a time when I was happy beyond belief...that must be worth something. Even if now I walked in sorrow. The Fade shimmered a little and I tsked.

“Could you not? I’m wallowing in self pity.” I snapped.

“I could...take it all away…” The despair demon whispered, twirling just out of my sight.

“I don't know, this wallowing is kinda fun,” I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. The air (if that's what you could call it) suddenly got cold. “That's why they call it _wallowing._ ”

“Surely...you just want to rest,” It offered, its voice surrounding me from all sides. 

“That's what I was trying to do, until you showed up.” My emotions must be pretty compromised if it ventured this far out of its territory. _Awesome._

“Sleep...I will take over...solve your problems.” It was just behind my ear, but when I went to turn, it jumped away.

“And I would rather my blood stay where it is at the moment, thank you very much.” I turned to look at the hooded creature. Dang, it needs some serious teeth straightening. “So kindly...piss off!” I sneered, shooting fire at it. It easily jumped out of the way, but decided that I wasn’t worth the effort.

“Still sassy as ever, I see.” Ryaden said. I turned at the sound to see him, normal. His eyes were a brilliant green and he flashed a winning smile. “Hello my love,” My heart did a flip in my chest. I was paralyzed as he walked over to me and kissed me, a hand behind my head. I sagged into him, missing the feeling. All of it. His lips were warm and familiar, as was the way he held me. We stayed like that for a while, but it only felt like seconds. After breaking apart, I caressed his face as I leaned in to whisper. I nibbled his ear a bit before saying:

“You know, for a Desire demon, you really need to work on your kissing skills.” I shoved him off me, crossing my arms again. In a purple haze it transformed into its more recognizable form. The demon floated a foot of the ground, eyes burning,

“I’m just going off of your memory,” The demon snorted in amusement. _Then I really need to be kissed more often._ My eyes widened as I recognized the voice. I put my arms out like i was greeting an old friend. Why not? This is the Fade after all.

“Desiree, it's been too long! Possessed any fun people lately?” I joked, running up to her. She just floated out of my reach. I hid the sadness when I looked upon the demon. She had been a spirit of Purpose before. She had helped me through my Harrowing, and to find my calling as a healer. She was one of the spirits I sought out in the Fade, asking for advice. She always gave it happily, and it was through her that I became talented in my art. Some sod had summoned her however, bound her. Turned her into this. I was still trying to find a way to turn her back. Without, you know, getting possessed in the process.

“Actually I'm in one now. Not as spicy as you however. Or as powerful.” I gave a sarcastic frown.

“Are you still trying to possess me? You know you can't ride two horses with one arse.” I put my hands on my hips.

“Not in your world perhaps. I came actually to tell you to stay off my pet. It is in your vicinity and I do know how much you like abominations.”

“Hmmm I'll have to consider…” I said, making the motion that I was thinking. “Sure, fine.” I agreed, knowing that my Templar guard would kill it well before I could. Or...I actually wasn't that sure. The Red Templars did not seem to have much problem with working with demons and other beasties. I knew that even if I wanted to kill the abomination, I probably wouldn't get the chance to. Best make use of my situation. “But, I get to ask a question. Or two. And you have to answer truthfully.” I crossed my arms to my chest again.

“Fine.” She said pursing her lips.

“You weren't always a Desire demon, I can tell. The fact that you have stopped trying to possess me shows that you are much more than just one-sided”

“That's not a question, genius.” She replied, mimicking me by crossing her arms over her chest.

“Aha! See? I'm rubbing off on you! Now-” I could feel the Fade slipping away from me. I was waking up. Dammit. “Oh sod it, I'll ask later”.

“I'll be here,” She chided, unhappily. It was getting harder to focus and so I decided to take my leave.

“I still don't know why any of you would want to come to our world, but whatever. Happy hunting! Try not to kill anyone I know.” I turned back, right before exiting. “Oh, and for Andraste’s sake, _put some clothes on!”_

\---

“Maker you sure are a heavy sleeper,” I forced my eyes open and had to hide my disappointment that it was Greenie that had woken me up.

“Just making deals with demons to get out of this mess. Hard work, you know.” I yawned, stretching my arms. His look of abhorrence almost made me laugh. “I’m kidding, that was a joke. Now why have you awakened me? It's the arse crack of dawn.”

“We are moving our camp, some giants have wandered too close. We have already lost a Behemoth to them.”

“Darn. I hope it wasn’t Giggles.”

“Pardon?”

“Nevermind. Just shoo. I’ll be ready in a moment.” I said, making a (you guessed it) shooing motion with my hands.

“Don't try anything.” He threatened, before leaving me to my business, thankfully. I ran my hand through my hair, getting out as many knots as possible. After it was slightly manageable I plaited it the best I could with my bound hands. Feeling it I shrugged and figured it was better than nothing. I then looked up and found where the Templars had gathered, probably for a meeting. I carefully rose and snuck up behind them, trying to eavesdrop. But to my luck, in my attempt to sneak I tripped over a rock and landed hard into the ground. Somehow I knew that all eyes were on me before I even went to look. I got up carefully, thinking of my words. I placed my hand on my hips as I moved my jaw, wincing. But of course ...nothing came to mind, except:

“I heard you pissed off some giants. What did you do? Steal their Brontos?” The Captain glared at me so hard it almost hurt as bad as the slap that followed. From the force of it I lost my balance and fell. I rubbed my cheek. He was probably trying to put me in my place. _Cute._ “What I was __going to say,__ was that you shouldn't fight them with behemoths. Small groups will be able to evade their attacks and take them down. Speed wins in this situation.”

“That...actually isn't a bad idea Captain.” Ryaden chided. I hadn't even noticed him, I was too focused on the jerk in front of me. “We can incapacitate them that way and transfer them to the Emprise without losing our Behemoths.” The Captain just grunted.

“Fine, I'll consider it.” He turned to me, a wicked grin on his face as he looked at my vulnerable position. Not even trying to hide that fact that he was staring at my chest. No doubt wanting to finish what he had started those few years ago. His expression changed, trying to hide the hunger in his eyes. “When we have enough we can transfer them to the Emprise, along with the mage whore. Samson needs more bodies to grow the Red Lyrium. But I can still think of some uses for her.” He sneered at me, finally showing his hand. He gestured to me and Ryaden grabbed me by the arm and hoisted me up. The Templars dispersed, gathering their camp. I tried to hide my face as the memories came flooding back. I trembled a bit, but tried to exude confidence.

“The mage whore wouldn't have given any advice if she knew that was the plan.” I grumbled, trying to stabilize myself. Not even caring that he could hear me. I knew that this time I couldn't use my magic to stop him. Not with a dozen other loyal Red Templars. I crossed my arms over myself, trying to hide behind them. How in the Void was I going to get out of this mess, let alone the one to come? I forgot Ryaden was there until he turned me to look at my face.

“You're bleeding.” Ryaden observed, referring to my cheek. He pulled down his sleeve and wiped the blood off, before taking out some Elfroot poultice and applying it. He looked away from my eyes and focused intently on the gash. His gentle touch taking my mind off my problems. Astonishingly I let him, without a word of complaint.

“Why are you being nice to me?” I asked, my voice a whisper. Hoping against hope.

“Returning the favor,” He answered, showing his wrist. It looked completely normal, like no injury had even occurred.

“Here I thought it was because of my witty one-liners.” My face though, remained deadpan.

“For those too.” He huffed out a laugh, trying to lighten my mood. “It's not every day you find someone that you can make fun of Orlesians with.”

“True.” My smile turned sad. I couldn't stop thinking of what the Captain had said. “Better make the most of it, Something tells me I won’t be very lucid after the bastard had his way with me” I hugged my arms tighter to my chest. Trying not to think of the Emprise, if even I did make it through. I would be dead after I was drowned in the corrupted lyrium. Or turned into some horrendous creature. I clenched my belly as realization flooded me.

Oh Maker, the child. What would it do to the child? The Red Lyrium would corrupt...just like it had everything else. I didn't notice that I had started to tear up, until he frowned. He turned his sleeve and pressed it to my wound, not knowing quite how to comfort me. I could tell my tears were getting to him, by the worried line on his forehead. Once it had stopped bleeding, he wiped my cheek again and got the rest of the...blood.

Blood Magic.

I could use it. Try to save us. But then I would turn into a blighted abomination. Either way the child dies.

“ _Maker_ ,” I rasped, unable to stop myself from shaking.

\---  
I could tell he was staring at me when he thought that I wasn’t looking. And even when I wasn’t I could feel his gaze on the back of my neck. I did not know what I wanted, for him to remember or not. Regardless, my heart clenched whenever I saw him leave. Only to try and hide how happy I was when I saw him return, with minimal injuries. He still sought me out often and we continued our banter when he was back at the encampment (and for that I was thankful). His smile was still his, as were the little things about him. The way he ran his hand through his hair when he was stressed, or bit his nails when he was nervous. He had warmed up to me completely and I relished the thought of him holding me in his arms. But then I stopped that thought. Even if he did, he couldn’t do anything about my upcoming…demise, and it would kill him to watch me suffer. He would be helpless as I was drowned in the corrupted stuff, as my body mutilated and killed the baby inside me.

_No, I pray, do not have him remember._

I laid uncomfortably on the bedmat, trying to get some sleep. The Templars had set a perimeter around the giants’ territory, and had decided to keep me with them. I had overheard that they were working on allying with the Freemen, But in the meantime they had decided to go giant hunting and Red Lyrium depositing. As well as trying to hold the Emerald Graves from the small Inquisition forces that were dotted around. Knowing the Inquisitions patterns, I knew it would be soon when the Inquisitor would maker her appearance. For weeks I stayed in camp and helped out as much as I could, healing and making poultices and draughts for the men. I stayed quiet and obedient, not wanting to evoke the Captain’s wrath. In the back of my mind, was the feeling that I was a traitor, but I just wanted to survive. I groaned as my belly ached, taking my mind off my thoughts. I rubbed the round bulge, cursing how much I had swelled. My clothes were almost to the point of ripping and my stomach was getting increasingly harder to hide. The baby stirred slightly at my touch, but not as much as when Ryaden spoke. The child had yet to kick, but they would make a fuss when they heard their daddy's voice. Soon after, the little one quieted and allowed me to fall asleep.

I shot up in a cold sweat, a whimper escaping my lips. An overwhelming wave of nausea hit me. and I had to hold my breath until it was over. My arms were still bound, but thankfully in the front. The wave hit me again and I got up quickly. I was only mildy aware of the footsteps that followed. I retched what little nourishment i had gained. Still, this didn't satisfy whatever it was and I continued to dry heave. I curled into myself when it was over and convinced myself that I was in fact dying. I crawled carefully to the stream, pushing through the dizziness, knowing that I would feel better with the taste washed out of my mouth. Once it was out, I splashed some cool water on my face and tried to take deep breaths. I cursed as I felt a twinge again. I curled into the fetal position, hardly breathing because the movement might send me into another heaving fit. I heard the soft crunch of footsteps and I tried to become smaller, remembering that they had probably witnessed the whole ordeal. I looked up at the figure, fear and pain in my gaze. Ryaden had come close to me and reached his hand out, only to stop and ball it into a fist. He retracted it, not to touch me, in case I had some disease. _Not contagious at least._

 __“__ Are you alright?” He asked. _ __No! I am retching my guts out and its only going to get worse!___  Actually, I think he may have retracted his hand because he did not know if his touch would upset me. I only gave a moment for the gesture to warm me before I answered.

 ____“____ Define alright,” I replied, uncurling myself slightly. 

“Not dying probably,”

“Well we’re all dying, some just faster than others,” i didn't have a chance to think, my little bit of sass surfacing again around him. He breathed out a laugh. “But, As much as I would like to at the moment, I am not.” I rolled myself on my knees and the palms of my hands, closing my eyes trying to shake the dizziness.

“I'll take that as a yes,” He crouched down beside me. “Come, we have to get you back to camp, the Captain would not react...kindly...to finding you here.” At the mention of him, I shivered. He had yet to make due on his threat, but I knew it was only because he had other things on his mind.

I raised my head up enough to see that there was no sign of the camp. I furrowed my brow, realizing that I must have Fade Stepped. “...how far are we?” I asked.

“About a mile.”

“Wait, if I Stepped into the Fade, how did you follow me all the way out here?”

“You leave a frost crystal trail every time you exit and enter...you should work on that.” I stared at the ground for a moment before I realized he was teasing me. The corner of my mouth went up in a little grin.

“Sorry, I’ll try to do better next time, preferably when I’m not puking my guts out” I smirked, and it was his turn to smile. I  couldn’t help but stare at him. His veins pulsed red, illuminated. His eyes too held the unnatural glow. Also, His skin was greying, causing an otherworldly appearance. 

“I still frighten you,” he stated flatly, frowning. _Not in the way that you think._ I then realized my expression had changed, the smile completely disappearing as I gazed upon him. “Come, we have to get back.” He motioned like he was going to reach a hand to help me up but stopped at the last moment.

“You’re right,” I agreed. Taking a deep breath I weakly got to my feet. I used a nearby tree for major support. I stopped, now leaning my full weight on the thing. I swayed in place as I felt the blood rush from my face. My sense of balance decided to flee and I fell forward. I closed my eyes and braced for the fall, but only felt him catch me.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think that you were falling for me,” he whispered, smirking. I gave a quick laugh, cheeks getting hot. _Already have, you suave son of a-!_

“You’d like that…” I replied, pushing my way free from him. I let out a sigh before just deciding to go for it. After a few deep breaths I went forward. I think I made it a few steps before doubling over, a soft whimper escaping my lips. I placed a hand on my abdomen. Why did it hurt so much? Was this normal? _Wow, what a great healer I was._

“Let me carry you,” he said. _But my pride,_ I thought mockingly.

“No no, I've got this.” I stood up again, but he was close by my side, ready to catch if needed. We walked in silence for a few minutes before I started to see black spots in my vision. I was proud, I got a curse out before everything went dark.

I woke to him carrying me. I breathed in his familiar scent as I leaned my head against his chest. I spoke without thinking. “And here we are again, my love.” He stiffened, all of him tightening at the last two words. I remembered then what was wrong. He picked up his pace and wasted no time in setting me back on my bedmat. He didn’t say a word as he retreated away from me, and I was left again to my own thoughts.


	4. Life Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Single and ready to respond to any sort of affection with sarcasm because thats the only way I know how to mingle"
> 
> ~This is a background chapter, where you find out more about the beginning of their relationship and life before the war started :)

_*Before*_

I was on my tiptoes, trying to reach a spell book. After a few tries I managed to grasp it and pull it off the shelf. Before I could turn around I felt a hand squeeze my butt. I whipped around and slapped it away, already knowing who it was. I started speed walking to the infirmary...but I could hear him follow me.

“Piss off Velric,” I snapped, walking faster.

“So fiery…” He purred, his Orlesian accent unmistakable. I sped through the door and tried to slam it in his face, but he caught it and kept it open.

“Ugh!” I grunted, stomping back into the infirmary. “I have work to do you slimy bastard. Why don’t you go caress someone else’s behind for a while? Evana has never seemed to say no to your advances. Besides, she likes you.”

“Oh but Solana, you know I only have eyes for you,” He licked his lips, staring me down.

“Only because I’m the only girl who won’t sleep with you,” I spat, moving away again. “ I don’t want to be your little trophy, so I’ll say it again. Piss. Off!”

“You're denial only makes you that much more enticing…”

“Does no not mean no in Orlais?” I grumbled, but I didn’t think he heard me. _Wow, he really doesn't get it._ I sat down with a humph and began to make poultices. My fingers expertly pulling apart the harvested Elfroot and other herbs. He watched with a surprising fascination. I tried to focus harder on my work, gritting my teeth.

“What else can you do with those hands of yours?” He groaned, his manhood rising slightly under his trousers, no doubt the thought arousing him. That did it. I slammed my hands down on the table, and without a breath turned to glare at him.

“Strangle you.” I retorted, as I got up. I put him in a stasis before he could react. With swift anger I placed my finger on his forehead and shot Horror into him. I removed my stasis and he clenched his head, and began to scream. He looked at me with such fear I smiled in triumph. He sprinted away from the infirmary, as fast as his Orlesian legs could take him. _Take that, pretty boy!_ I put my hands on my hips and gave a victory nod. I turned around to get back to my work and saw Ryaden trying to pull poultice out of his hair. “Oh no, I’m sorry.” I apologized as I went over to help him. I must have splattered it everywhere when I slammed my hands down on the table.

“Maker, nzo need to apologize. That was great.” He grinned, gesturing at the door. I gave a small smile in return.

“Yeah, he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” I grabbed a cloth and tried to reach some of it that had gotten in his eye. “No but I am sorry about your eye. It's all bloodshot now.”

“No worries, really. I could still hear. By the way, I’ve never heard a man scream that high before, you should be impressed.” Remember the sound I burst into laughter.

“I am, _I_ can’t even hit notes that high,” I giggled. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed his company.

“I’m on your good side...right?” He asked, almost sheepishly.  _Maker he was asking if I liked him._  

“Yes, Ryaden you are.” I gave a genuine smile as the words came out, surprised by how true they were. Both our heads shot up the door slammed open. A blonde elf came rushing in, crying she was laughing so hard. She leaned over as she laughed and her breasts almost fell out of her robe, it was so low cut. 

"Maker, what did you do to the sod? I saw him run past and whew, that was funny." She giggled walking over to me. "One of your Wild Witch tricks?"

"Maker, shut up. You say that any louder-"

"I know, I know Miss Entropy. I'll keep your dirty little secret. But could you teach me? Seems handy."

"No Evana. Mother only taught me for situations like this. I do not like to hang on to my heritage, or to pass it on." 

"Fine. Spoilsport." She chided, already looking for some new entertainment. 

\---

_*The next day*_

I could feel him watching me, even though when I turned around he would pretend to be asleep. I had the ridiculous thought of pulling my robe down and exposing more of my chest to him. I abandoned the thought, knowing that it wasn't like me to do that for attention.  I tried to shake his gaze off but I was finding it amazingly hard to focus. I gawked at my previous thoughts. I actually _wanted_ him to see my curves. His stare even with my robe in the place it was currently, was distracting. But it wasn't like Velric's stare, far from it. It was admiring, and almost loving... instead of lustful and possessive. 

“Now Emree,” I said to the little girl I was healing. She had burned her hands badly in an attempt to cast a fire spell “You have to be so careful with fire.” The girl started to cry and so I pulled her into a hug. I started to gently rock her and I found myself singing the lullaby my mother had sung to me as a girl.

 

Don't be afraid of the dark

Though they say to be

There are many wonderful things

That you only can see

 

No worries or tears

So silence your fears,

 

In the night

When shadows fall

Glazed in moonlight

Are the best of all

 

If we want to be

away from prying eyes

Only the dark

Can suffice.

 

We will run with the wolves

And fly with the crows

So far away from

what the world knows

 

No worries or tears

So silence your fear, my dear.

 

I breathed ice onto my hands and grasped her burned ones. She relaxed at my cool touch. It wasn't long after she had rested her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. I carefully rose and placed her upon a cot. I pulled the covers over her and gave a kiss to her cheek before I knew what I was doing. My mother always had done that, and I guess I…

“You have a beautiful voice,” It was Ryaden. I looked to the ground and tucked some hair behind my ear.

“You are too kind,” I replied, trying not to look at him.

“No really, and believe me when I say that I’ve heard my share of Chantry hymns.” I failed at the not looking at him part...again. He gestured to the small form cuddled up in the bed. “You're nothing like what I’ve been led to believe about mages. I saw the way you cared for that girl, helping her through this hard transition.” I felt tingles in my stomach. I realized that I really enjoyed his voice.

“I hope you know...I think you're amazing.” _He what?_

“You're just flattering me so I’ll give _you_ a kiss on the cheek,” I teased, turning back to him. He gave a winning smile that I had only seen him use on me. _Oh Maker, I enjoyed not only his voice but his smile as well_.

“...Now that you mention it” he teased back, trying to look innocent.

“Uh huh, but what are you going to give me in return?” I placed my hands on my hips facetiously.

“I'll think of something,” He replied.a 

_Welp that was good enough for me._

Against my better judgement I made my way over to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. I pulled back and realized that _my cheeks_ were hot. I tried to cover my face with one hand as I went to leave but he grabbed my wrist. He gazed into my eyes, and then down at my lips. He laced his fingers through my hair and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes as I felt his mouth lightly brush mine. His mere touch sending a shiver through me. My heart started to pound as I kissed him harder, and he responded in turn. After a few more moments he painfully pulled away And I immediately missed his touch. He was breathing heavily and began to grimace. I remembered instantly, and I wanted to slap him.

“You dolt!” I scolded, without a hint of spite. He released his hold on me and I had to gently lower him down. I lifted up his shirt.

“Woah there Sol, slow down…” He joked, as I placed my hands on his bare bruised skin. But his eyelids began to flutter and he fell unconscious. I quickly tried to take away some of the pain from his fractured rib cage. I couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt to sit up and kiss me. His eyes moved underneath his eyelids so I knew he was awake again. I breathed ice on my hands and he sighed in relief. I wanted to scold him but he spoke again “Worth it,” he mumbled. And my heart started to do flips in my chest. After he was tended to I rushed into my alcove, cheeks burning. Maker, I just kissed a Templar. And I enjoyed it, _A lot._ I wanted to kiss him again. Andraste what had come over me? I shouldn't want to kiss him at all, let alone _again._

_\---_

"Emree, what made you try the fire spell? You know you're not old enough," I asked having her sit in front of me on the bed. She straightened her back and sloughed her hair over her shoulders. I brushed through it slowly, getting all the tangles out. 

"Some boys were making fun of me," She huffed, readjusting her position. I took some of her hair between my fingers and started an Orlesian braid. 

"They do that," I whispered, leaning forward. I dared a glance at the Templar, who was watching and trying to look bored. "They're dolts." 

He snorted. 

Emree giggled, forgetting the problem for a moment. She then gave me a confused look. "Then why does Evana kiss them so much?"  _Because Evana fits into the dolt category._

 _"_ Yes, Solana, why does she?" He teased, a wry smile on his face. I gave a half hearted glare in his direction. 

"Because....kissing is nice?" I tried. She stuck out her tongue and made a _yuck_ sound. "You'll understand when you're older, I promise." She just shrugged. I grabbed a hair tie and finished the braid off, putting it in front of her shoulders

"Solana?" 

"Yes Emree?"

"I haven't seen you kissing before," 

"I try to keep it that way,"

"Then have you?" I forced myself to not look at Ryaden.  _Forced_. 

"Yes I have, but that doesn't mean you have to do it front of everyone like Evana does." 

"Oh, ok. That makes sense I guess." She replied, looking down at her hands. "Do you kiss one boy or a lot of them?"

"One hopefully, but you might have to kiss a few before that to find that one."

"No, I think she means you specifically," He chided, genuinely interested in my answer. She nodded. 

"Just a few, but that is  _all_ I am going to say about that." I pursed my lips at him. She waved at me, and cupped her hands over my ears. 

"You should kiss him, he's _sexy_ " She whispered. A huge hot blush ran onto my face and I covered my face. 

"Maker, where did you learn that word!? Do you know what it means? No it doesn't matter, just don't say it again." I gripped the bridge of my nose and shook my head. 

"I heard Evana say that to a boy she was kissing," She gave a mischievous smile, not really understanding, but knowing that the word was bad.  

"Don't repeat anything she says ok? Especially that. Now shoo, you're already late for your lessons." She smiled at me for a bit longer, knowing that whatever the word meant, it had got to me. She skipped off out of the infirmary, obviously pleased with herself. 

"Maker, what did she say to you that made your face redder than a tomato?"

"Uhh...she uh." _Maker what was happening to me! I've never had problems speaking my mind._

 _"Oooh_ now I'm really interested." He prodded. 

"She said that I should kiss you because you were... sexy" He laughed, so hard that he threw his head backwards. "Oh shove it. you're not." I retorted, immediately regretting my words. "but.. that uh, doesn't mean that you aren't...you know.  _Good looking._ " 

"You are adorable when you're flustered." He chuckled. He stopped abruptly, noticing how he had spoken what he thought was just a thought. Now his face was turning pink. It was my turn to laugh at him.

"Right back at you!" I put my hands on my hips and gave a very dramatic hair flip as I turned away. Swaying my hips, not minding at all if that was where he was looking. 

_____

I found myself looking for Ryaden in the tower. If I knew he was stationed in the Training Rooms, then I would _happen_ to be there as well. He had the same demeanor, happy and joking. But he didn't give that smile that he used on me, the winning one that made my face blush. He acknowledged me when he could, like if we passed each other in the hallway. He also would come to the infirmary for any and all minor (and I mean minor) injuries. He would give me that smile of his and kiss my hand when he left. I continued on my spying rounds, disguised as a raven. Often I would watch the Templars train, and I found myself only focusing on him, instead of juicy information. He was a pretty good swordsman, able to defeat of hold his own against any of the senior Templars. Well...except the Captain of course, that man was legendary. Even the mages knew of his prowess, and tried to stay on his good side. Many times I stayed out longer than I really should have, in fear of being caught missing.

He came in late one night and I had to hide how excited I was. We were alone as the only other person in the Infirmary was an older Enchanter. She had gotten really sick and asked me to let it run its course. She was held in a state of delirium, in hopes to remedy her pain and ease her passing. He limped over to his usual spot, his arm hanging at an unnatural angle. He gave an absurdly attractive wink and managed a greeting. I helped him as he plopped down and I began examining it. It was heavily bruised and obviously dislocated.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better I would think a certain Templar is purposefully getting hurt so he could come to the infirmary.”

“Good thing you don't...know any better.” He rasped, through gritted teeth as I placed myself in the right position. He shook and bit down hard as i snapped his shoulder back into place. “Maker that hurt worse than when he hit me.” He scrunched his face up a little and went to go touch it. I smacked his hand down.

“No, don’t move. it's bruised pretty badly in multiple places.” I went to start tending the smaller wounds. “How did you manage to do that?”

“Things got a little heated during sparring. I may have challenged the Knight Captain…”

“I’ve heard he is pretty good, did you win?” I asked, genuinely interested.

“Well, no. But I didn’t lose. Ended in a draw.” He said, pretty happy with himself.

“I haven’t heard of anyone doing that well...that’s excellent. ” I said truthfully, my cheeks getting hot.

“Wait, my scheme to impress you actually worked?” He said, a grin on his face. _Oh Maker there is that smile again._ I stopped what I was doing and sat next to him. I twirled my thumbs as I refused to meet his stare.

“And what in the world would you want to impress me for,” I whispered sadly. Knowing that this flirting of ours was just that. Flirting.

“Because you’re beautiful, and smart.” He turned my face towards him and tucked stray strands behind my ear. His eyes were full of truth, and caring. I pulled away looking down again.

“But I'm a mage...evil incarnate, if you will..” I breathed, closing my eyes.

“No, you’re a mage who has used her curse for good. You choose to heal and care for idiots like myself. You are so much more than just a mage.” He clasped my hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. I looked into his eyes again. “I know you’re afraid of me. Please let me show you that I am more than just a Templar.” He leaned in and brought his lips upon mine. He was soft and gentle, not wanting to scare me. I found myself leaning into him, wrapping my hand through his hair. I found myself leaning into his kiss again, enjoying it just as much as the first one. We broke apart after a moment and he brought me to him. I snuggled up against him, careful this time of his injuries. I could tell  I must have been blushing furiously. _Oh Maker that was wonderful._ I wanted him close. I looked up and this time I was the one to kiss him. He smiled against my lips as I did, pure joy radiating from him.

“I know you’re more than just a Templar.” I paused, deciding to take the leap. “I’m willing to give this a chance, if you are…” I rasped, as he stroked my face. His emerald eyes deep with emotion.

“Yes, Sol. I’m willing.”

 


	5. The Secret is Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, this really wasn't how I imagined telling my betrothed that I was pregnant. The tears maybe, but they probably would have been happy. But when has life ever gone as imagined? Not in mine, that's for damn sure."

I yawned and turned over, to find my face inches from a puddle. I frowned and shook myself off, knowing that I probably looked like a mess. “Why is everyone packing up?

“We’re moving camp. We have found some Elven Ruins that we are going to explore.” I waited for a few moments, tapping my thigh restlessly. 

“I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t mean anything by it. And, thank you. Truly. Maker knows I wouldn’t want to face the Captain’s wrath.” I shivered, my mind taking a dark turn. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“You're welcome.” He replied, not looking at me.

“Now, Elven Ruins? I’m guessing you are trying to find some powerful artifact,” I yawned, stretching a bit. I hoped that I didn't sound too eager to change the topic.“But it’s probably just some useless something. Let the Dalish plunder, I’m telling you it’s not worth the effort.” He huffed.

“The fact that you are trying to divert us makes it all the more interesting,” he raised a brow.

“ _Or”_ I retorted. “It’s some Elfy nonsense, but whatever. Just find me a good place to puke and I’ll be content.”

“That’s not normal you know,” He observed, gathering up one of the tents.

“Elfy nonsense is very much the norm these days,”

“I meant the throwing up.” He clarified.

“Oh that…” So he had noticed. _Think fast Solana_. “I think its pretty well expected. Being captured and forced to eat what you people call ‘food’” I joked, earning a small smile. He didn’t press the subject, knowing that I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Alright then, you cook tonight.” He challenged, crossing his arms. 

“Pfft,”

“No really.”

“You know they don’t really teach womanly-ladylike things like that in the tower,” I explained.

“Good thing you’re so ladylike, or this would be _awkward_ ,” he raised his eyebrows as he enunciated the last word. 

“Are you insulting my manners Ser Templar?” I retorted with a fake aghast.

“Insult you dear lady? Perish the thought!”

“Good thing i like having you around, or my next fireball might be aimed at your face,”

“I’ve still nothing to worry about, you couldn’t hit a fish in a barrel.” I huffed and smacked him on the arm. It resulted in a deep chuckle as he rubbed his shoulder. “You’ve got an arm, that almost hurt.”

“Don’t make me cast Stonefist on you, then it will really hurt.”

“Yes, well I hope never to be on your bad side.” He smirked. 

“You? Nah, I like having you around.” I blurted, a blush rising in my cheeks. _Maker, why did he still have this damned effect on me?_ He contemplated for a moment before speaking his mind. 

“...I like having you around as well...my lady,” his face turned hot as he grunted and left me.

My heart sped up and I felt a tiny thump in my stomach.

***

“As much as I love trudging through stale ruin water, I can’t help but wonder why you brought me along.” I pursed my lips as I held my robe up the best I could. I waded through the shallow part, I had already seen one abomination disappear under the water and so I stepped carefully.

“I convinced the Captain that you would be much better taking down barriers and helping with the with the magic of the place. We are lacking in the spellcasting department.” Ryaden explained.

“What? You didn’t just want my witty commentary? I’m hurt.” I faked a pout. Entering a 'room' of sorts, we came upon a bluish barrier that was blocking our path. I looked at it for a moment and decided fire would probably be the best bet. “Alright, one fireball coming up!”

“Everybody stand back, Maker knows what she’ll hit,” Ryaden smirked at me, even though we were the only two in the ruined room. I scrunched up my face mockingly towards him.

“Hilarious. Now I _am_ tempted to set your hair on fire.” I cocked my hip.

“Like you could,” he grinned.

“Oh? Is that how it is? Them are fighting words!”

“That is _how it is._ ” He snarked. He moved away as I went to smack him again.  

Not giving up, I pivoted like I was going to lunge at him and he easily stepped out of my reach. A huge smile lighting up his face. This went on a few more times, a dance almost. My heart seemed to stutter quickly.  I couldn’t help the girlish grin on my lips. An idea came to me. I pivoted again but Fade Stepped in the other direction, catching him. I gently pressed him against the wall and lifted up on my toes. He grinned wryly as he looked at me. I couldn’t help the sensual look on my face as I leaned in to kiss him. He grunted a bit, pouting his lips and closing his eyes. I brushed them, softer than air, but pulled back immediately. I bit my lip I plucked some hair from his head, which caused him to unwittingly frown. I placed a small kiss on his cheek as I lit up the hair in my hand.

“Gotcha,”

***

I stared at the smoked nug in my hand, stomach grumbling. I had shot a few down and cooked them, just as I had said I would. The men were excited, the smell wafting throughout the ruin camp. They pretty much were stomping at the bit when I was preparing, breathing down my neck. I had to shoo Anger Issues away, and you can imagine how well that went.

It had smelled amazing when I was making it, but now I could hardly look at it without feeling queasy. I rotated it around in my hand, as if a better angle would make it more appetizing. The inner conflict was probably evident on my face. To eat and throw it up, or not and feel the pangs of hunger. Ironic really that my body decided to do this  _right when I needed it not to_. I cupped my belly in my hand, the child beginning to squirm. I looked down at the food in my hand again. My throat burned from the last incident and so I set the piece down. I opted just for some water and cursed when even  _that_ made me feel nauseous. I closed my eyes and focused my breathing, trying to keep it down. Well I failed at the breathing part, mostly holding it.

“You aren’t well,” Ryaden spoke, the first time looking up from his food. I couldn’t help but feel proud, he obviously enjoyed it, though he wouldn’t admit it. “You’ve hardly eaten anything and when you do it just comes back up.”

“Cruel isn’t it?” I turned my face to look at him. He turned and tossed the bones behind him. An abomination scrambled in the dirt, shoving them in its face. I had to put my hand over my mouth and look away. _Really? Gross!_   Now my decision was made. I held out my piece of nug to him, which after a moment of looking at me, he reluctantly took.

“You’re a healer, you must know what's wrong with you,” It was a question. Wait...did I hear a hint of concern in his voice?

“I do,” I answered, shifting how I was sitting. Oh Maker, was this how it was going to go? Well I suppose it’s better than me jumping out of the bushes with jazz fingers saying: _Surprise! I'm pregnant and it's yours!_

“...but you’re not dying,” He prodded, trying to hide the worried tone.  _Kind of the opposite actually_.

“No,” I answered, looking away from him.

After a few silent seconds he nodded his head and stood to leave. “My lady,”  _Awww, he didn’t want to pry, just know I was alright_. I felt my heart literally warm. I took a deep breath.

“Wait,” he stopped and turned back to look at me. “Maker’s breath, I won’t be able to hide it for much longer anyway.” I grabbed his arm, and pulled him aside.

I went to untie my outer robe, already shivering. He just looked on with confusion. I took it off, now in my fitted shirt and leggings. It was small, but there was a roundness to my stomach that pressed tightly against my shirt. I pulled at the fabric in an effort to stretch it. Its only reply was splitting at the side stitching.  _Of course._

“You’re…”’he started, trailing off.  I used one hand to lift my the fabric up, knowing it was useless to try to straighten it. My other reached for my betrothal necklace and I held it tightly. I looked down, the first time I had been able to see my growing belly bare. It bulged in front of me, a taut curve that rose and fell in tandem with my breathing.

“With child.” I confirmed. My messed up emotions starting to get the best of me.

“And the father?” He asked carefully, gesturing to my necklace. But it only caused me to cry harder. “Your husband, he’s…” I knew what he meant to say. Dead.  _No, but he's gone..._

_So far away from here._

I hid my face in my hands, shaking. I heard him come over to me and place my robe back in place, tying it. Then he took off his cape and wrapped me in it. He cursed under his breath, realizing that it probably was a Red Templar who had killed him.

“I know it doesn’t change anything, but…I am sorry.” I didn’t think, I just leaned my head into his chest. He stiffened, surprised, but relaxed after a moment. He hesitantly brought his arms around me, slowly judging my reaction. He relaxed more when I didn’t startle or pull away from him. Even though it hurt my pride. I couldn’t stop crying, my sobs muffled by his chest. His embrace, his smell, the way he slowly stroked my hair, was too despairingly familiar.

\---

_*Before*_

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. _He is back, thank the Maker!_ I sprinted to him, not caring about being loud. All I cared about was him. He looked utterly exhausted, his hair shaggy and bags under his eyes. He was covered in crudely healed wounds, mostly burns and shocks, no doubt attacks from a mage. Regardless, he hasted to me, grabbing my hands and then pulling me into an embrace.

“Are you alright?” I asked obviously worried, I pulled him to me, and I could feel him quiet in my  arms.

“I am now,” he breathed, before bringing me back and giving me a desperate kiss. He felt weak and I broke away from him. I pulled him down, knowing his fatigue. He rested his head in my lap and I traced his face. Earning a sigh of relief from him. 

“What happened?” I inquired, almost afraid to hear the answer. At this distance I could feel a buzz. He felt off almost.

“Blood mages, there are so many lately, they have been getting desperate." He looked me in the eyes once more. "I thank the Maker you’re safe.” He breathed, clenching his forehead. "So you don't have to resort to-"

“Wait, close your eyes.” I ordered. I placed my hands on his forehead and focused. I felt a hum of magic still active on him and I frowned. I dug deeper and felt a malcontented essence. “There is a hex on you,”

“Lovely,” He muttered. I repositioned my hands on his head where I felt the majority of it.

“This is probably going to hurt,” I warned. I focused again and shot white light into the area. It fought back and I clenched my eyes shut. He tensed underneath me, and sucked in a breath. I got more worried and I tried a little different tactic. I found the hex and brought light around it. Once I had a well enough hold, I yanked it out. It came up, but not before attacking me in a rush of entropy. I clenched my head and expelled it within a few seconds.

“Sol?” he mused, sensing my distress.

“I’m fine,” I replied, sticking a palm to my forehead. “That spell was powerful.” Tears began to form in my eyes, not because of the pain, but because of my fear. He must have been in a huge amount of danger, right in the fray to have that spell cast on him. It was a Death Hex, one not easily cast, and required a tremendous amount of practice. I knew him, he was always in the middle of the fight, with no care for his well being.

“Sol? What is it?” He wiped some of the tears off my cheek with his thumb. I grasped his hand and covered it with my own.

“You have got to stop. If you keep this up you won’t live to see twenty five. You fight so aggressively, it scares me. Please, I...I care for you. there must be a better way than you almost dying…”

“You care for me?” He whispered, already knowing the answer.

“Yes, More than I like to admit.” I sniffled a laugh. Lifting his head, he grasped my waist and pulled me down to him. I cuddled up to his chest, letting him hold me.

“I love you.” I rose my head to look into his emerald eyes. They were soft and truthful. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before leaning his on mine. “I haven't been able to keep my mind off you since the day we met, I never thought or hoped I would find something like this. But now, I don’t want anything else.” I kissed him then, cutting him off.

“I love you too,” I confessed, whispering against his mouth. He brought his hand through my hair as he kissed me harder. I felt my body melt into his and something rise from my core. His kiss was a promise to survive, that he wouldn’t leave me.  My heart pounded in my chest, and it was only us in that moment. He was just a man and I was just a woman.  Not a Templar and a Mage.  I smiled at the thought of our future, a future I never thought that I would have.

“You have my heart.” His eyes held an uncontainable joy as they looked into mine. His hand came to hold my face. He started to stroke my lips with his thumb as he spoke three sweet words.

“Always, my love."


	6. Darkness Cannot Exist in the Presence of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I completely rewrote this chapter, now there is a peek into Solana's heritage. What used to be chapter 6 will be altered and come along a bit later.
> 
> ~You see, by doing that you have really pissed me off. You're about to learn that you do 'not' have me surrounded, you merely placed me in a target rich environment~

"Was killing those soldiers like that really necessary?" I asked when I passed the dead bodies. They were young elves, just at their prime. Now their heads were lovely decorations on the end of pikes. It sickened me to see what these Red Templars were doing. It gave me a little comfort knowing that they only killed them, instead of turning them into something else. But it seemed like such a waste to me, in all aspects of the word. _I mean, if we are getting economic, you could have saved them for blood sacrifice._ "You have now successfully pissed off the Inquisition in this area and given them ample reason for retribution."

"What else were we going to do? Spare them and let them tattle to their Inquisition masters?" Anger Issues snapped. Naturally, he was the one that chopped his blade through the elves' necks. I knew it was a power thing, that it made them seem more worthy of fear, but I thought it was plain stupid.

"I don't know if you've noticed," _Dirty Orlesian piece of trash._ "But when things like this go down, the Inquisitor isn't usually too far behind." Knowing that her soldiers had failed, and the expedition was dangerous, the Inquisitor would not send anyone else down but herself. I admired her for that, she wasn't afraid to get down and dirty, unlike a lot of the Circle mages.

I had to remind myself that _I was in fact_ , one of those Circle mages.

My mother was a famed 'Witch of the Wilds.' Though I knew she was bad at it. She had too kind of a heart for what Flemeth was doing. When the opportunity presented itself, she had escaped Flemeth's grasp and ran. She met a lovely farmer (from whom I got my sarcasm) and fell in love with him. I guess we are similiar in that fashion, we just can't stay away from men who make us laugh. .I came not long after and had a wonderful childhood. I had grown up with my parents in a small village north of Lothering. My mother thought that we were safe from the effects of the Blight, and also wasn't too worried about Flemeth. Turns out she had another daughter, Morrigan, I think it was? And had returned her attentions to her instead of my mother.

She taught me the ways of magic, even the arts that her mother had taught her. She wanted to make sure that I was safe, no matter where circumstance found me.I caught on to shapeshifting very quickly, but some Entropy and blood magics were harder for me to was a patient teacher, and a loving parent. I found myself thinking of her often due to my circumstance. I wanted so much to be able to talk to her, to confide in her. Being pregnant, now more than ever.

But of course, you can't outrun something forever. Flemeth finally found us, only Maker knows how. We fled as quickly as we could, Father staying behind to distract the witch. It was the last time I ever saw him, the image forever in my mind; he was in his nightclothes as he held up a pitchfork and shouted colorful obscenities to get the hags attention. Looking back on it, it was a rather humorous ordeal, and was just so quintessentially _him_. This stubborn man cursing out a legendary mage, with only a farm tool for protection. I had to admit, it probably would have been the way he wanted to go. He was protecting his wife and child, while getting a good snarkfest in the meantime.

We went north, to the only other place we knew. Maker forbid my mother take us to Orlais, (A fact which now I am eternally grateful) for she had picked up my father's hatred for the country. She became very ill as we traveled to the Free Marches, barely making the sea voyage. She took me to the Circle at Ostwick, knowing that I would be safe. I had just turned twelve when we arrived, so I was old enough to remember my father. She died not soon after, but I was able to be there with her for her final moments. I have never been more thankful for the things she taught me, for without shapeshifting, I would never have known her fate.

"Shut up whore," He hissed, after a while, bringing me back from my reverie. They really needed to come up with a better insult. Whore was great and all, but it lost its gusto after the first hundred times they've used it. I mean even 'slut' would've been preferred, because it was something different. What got me as how they all just decided on that one. Did they call all women that or just me? And how did they know what my morals were? I could be the primmest respectable woman for all they know. After actually thinking about it, my reasoning did not seem as sound. W _ith your sass? Your demeanor_ totally _screams 'proper lady.'_

But hey, my comment got him on the defensive, I could revel in that little tidbit.

He was sifting through the rubble and I leaned against a halfway decent pillar, thankful for the bit of rest. We had been searching for these little fragments of a key, that would in turn open up a big suspiciously intact door. The fact that it had little damage did not help my worries on what was on the other side. With my luck, some monster or a bunch of skeletons. The smell of rotting flesh was bad enough, but now it was just five times worse. Ginger, unearthed a pot, where he found part of the key. That would be two in total for our little group. It had been decided that splitting up was the best option in hopes of finding these little key fragments. The Captain had taken Ryaden and the rest of their company to look. I had stifled a laugh as I watched Giggles followed the captain begrudgingly, the behemoth hardly able to fit into some of the ruins.

We entered a large room (if that was what you could call it). The ceiling was so high you almost couldn't see the top of it. Vines and other growths had long since taken over, but some murals and carvings remained. The Templars split up and looked around, being unceremoniously rough with the art and artifacts they found. I kept to the edges of the room, admiring the architecture and stonework. There was a big thud and I looked over to see Ginger digging through a pile. I took a deep breath as I felt the air chill somehow. I crossed my arms together, but still was very alert.

A chill in the air does not usually mean something cute and fluffy.

Ginger had disturbed something, that was for sure. Remains of people, elven or human I could not tell, rose to attack us. I heard it before I saw it, a unnatural snarl to my left. I glared as I kicked the corpse as hard as I could, before picking up a fallen branch and beating the thing with it. Its only response was a strangled cry.

_Die. Die. Die._

I repeated the word as I smacked, bashing the things' face in so much that whatever was possessing it decided to flee. Even after it stopped moving, I continued hitting it, my adrenaline still coursing through me. I wiped some sweat off of my brow, looking around to see how the rest of them were doing. Before I could assess my situation well enough, multiple corpses were drawn to me. The gargled sound that my foe had made probably was a plea for help. I swore as I Fade stepped through them, freezing them in place. I then ran as fast as my body could take me. I looked around in earnest, my 'companions' were well met. Corpses had risen seemingly from nowhere, and had launched themselves at the nearest living thing. I felt a tingle in my mana, something I had never quite felt before. There was magic here, ancient and dark. I followed the tingle with my eyes to see a dark creature, one I had only read about.

A revenant.

It was covered in ancient armor, elven by the looks of it. Its aura reeked of death and destruction, Thankfully it had a helmet on and I couldn't get a real good look into its features. The air around the thing seemed to die, slowing down all living creatures within it. I ducked behind a pillar, not wanting to get anywhere near it. Frantically, I tried to remember what I had read about them, but it wasn't much. The Circle tends to frown upon books that have anything to do with demons and possession.

I heard some unpleasant sounds and so I dared a peek from my hiding place. It started casting and throwing the Red Templars around as if they were nothing more than ragdolls. It was obvious that they needed some major spellcasting support but I just sat there and festered.

_Really Maker? A sodding revenant? Why couldn't it have been like a tiny deepstalker or literally anything else? You really just want to make my life awful, I get it. You can stop now, really!_

I turned around the bend of my shelter to see a dark force coming towards me. My eyes widened as I heard a thump crash against my little refuge, and the pillar began to crumble. I rolled out of the way, (not easily, I might add) and I landed hard on my side, upon ruined rock on the floor. I curled up a bit as my belly began to ache, hurt from throwing myself to the ground. The babe kicked and I winced, knowing that the spot was going to bruise.

I felt something then, something I never had before. An overwhelming protective feeling for the life inside me. The desire exacerbated by the fact that if I didn't end the revenant, the baby wouldn't survive. And by _The Void_ that wasn't going to happen.

How _dare_ it try to hurt my child!? I was overcome with rage. _I'm gonna send its demon host so arse deep into the Fade that it will be smelling spirity crap for weeks!_

And Maker help them if any blighted Templar decides to get in my way.

I rolled my eyes, my face becoming hot. All the anger that I had pent up for the last few months spilled out. While the Templars had taken out most of the corpses, The Revenant was certainly getting the best of them. If it were a living thing, it would have been at least a bit tired by now. But no, that would be too easy. I had no idea when the others would show, if they would at all.

I walked out into the clearing, moving towards the creature as I shoved through an abomination and an archer. The archer grabbed my arm but I burned the bastard, with fire and my glare. He let go almost immediately, seeing my expression. There were now only three that had engaged the Revenant directly. I planted my feet and narrowed my eyes. Good thing the archer didn't try to grab me again or he would get what was coming to him.

"Move." I ordered. Two of them did but one remained to stab the revenant. I Fade Stepped and threw the sod to the side. The revenant swung at me, but I easily sidestepped it, my resolve strengthened. Once I got the right angle, I dug my fingernails into its rotting flesh. "Burn in The Void" I hissed, my instinct taking over.

I reasoned that the best way to fight the dark, is to flood its demonic consciousness with light. With a flash, the revenant twitched in midair, only able to writhe. It's skin started to peel away from its body, leaving open gaping wounds. Light poured out from the openings and it roared. It tried to shake me, but it only caused me to reposition. I gripped tighter, baring my teeth at the creature. I pushed deeper into its consciousness, trying to literally burn the demons influence out. Now the thing was smoking, its armor melting. It collapsed to the ground soon after, now engulfed in flames.

I retracted finally, feeling drained but content. On its mangled hand, I saw a silver ring. It was encrusted with emeralds and hummed with power. I yanked it off its finger and put it on mine. It fit well enough, but I would have to fix it later. I turned with a snarl and walked in the direction of the entrance. There were a few Red Templars in my way but they all backed up. Except for an abomination who tried to neutralize me.

Wrong move.

It seemed as if my senses were amplified. My eyes flashed dangerously as I cast a barrier, the piece of Red Lyrium halted mid-air, harmless. It was a well aimed shot, a needle heading straight for my face. Right before dropping the spell, I grabbed it and crushed it in my hand. "Move." I ordered. Glaring I grabbed the fool by the armor and threw him away from my path. After that, the archer put his bow down and his hands up in surrender.


	7. Battlemages Get all the Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dear, are you alright?"
> 
> "I'm fine, really. I'm over it."
> 
> "Honey, you were throwing rocks at couples in the gardens."
> 
> "Yeah! Because why do THEY get to be happy?"

The Inquisitor was absolutely awe inspiring. The way she cast spells made it look easy. Effortlessly she twirled her staff, and deadly bolts of lightning found their target. I had seen her before, and the thought made me grumble a little. Now I could see her eyes were striking, a light green, that contrasted perfectly with her black hair. When she would look at you, you couldn't help but do what she wanted. Even though she was kind and polite, there was always that air of strength that couldn't be shut out. This combination had gotten to Cullen. 

They made it a daily habit of strolling the battlements, always parting with a kiss. Of course I didn't know this, and when I stumbled upon them I couldn't help the jealousy and anger that I felt. I almost threw something at the couple, cursing wildly. Then I went and sobbed so much that I made myself vomit. It made sense now, why my emotions were so amplified. The Inquisitor and her Commander were the worst of course. A mage and a Templar, it was too damn similar. I then avoided the battlements altogether and never looked up there.  Seeing them so enamored with each other was just too much for me at that time. I thought Ryaden had been slain or mad at that point, I was a hot mess.

I settled with throwing rocks at couples that strolled the gardens. I would wait until they would get close to kiss each other or something, then I would throw a volley of tiny ones. Even if all of them would miss, they would bounce off something and startle whomever was there. I would then quickly duck behind something to avoid being seen. Sister Giselle had caught me, and that conversation went over great. 

_"Dear, are you alright?" She asked as I was leaving the gardens to my quarters._

_"I'm fine, really. I'm over it." I reassured, wiping away the remnants of tears._

_"Honey, you were throwing rocks at couples in the gardens." She reminded, taking both of my hands._

_"Yeah! Because why do THEY get to be happy?" I snapped, snatching back my hands._

***

She cast a complicated spell and I watched her technique, trying to get as close as I could without being taken out. I watched as she fought, trying to mimic the movements she made.  _ This is why battlemages always get all the attention.  _ I think I may have gotten the hang of it, but without a staff, there was no way to tell. A sharp wall of red lyrium burst from the ground, and I had to jump back to avoid it. Giggles had found them, and Giggles doesn't like the nasty Inquisitor. They fought for a while, the behemoth definitely holding his own against the group. But things started to go downhill when the mage began casting cold spells.  _ Everything has a weakness it seems.  _ And then the monster fell, crashing down into the floor. The building shook a little, and crumbs of rock fell from the ceiling.  More Red Templars hurried past me, weapons drawn. I looked frantically for Ryaden. Just when he was going to rush in I pulled him back by the fabric of his shirt behind a ruined wall. Really? He had tried to enter the fight even though Giggles was just felled?

“Are you a blighted idiot? That’s the  _ Inquisitor!  _ ” I snapped.

“But-” He protested. 

“ _ No!  _ She literally just killed Giggles in front of you, and now you think it's a good idea to rush her?" I threw my arms up in the air dramatically, then gestured to the horned giant. "Regardless of the fact you wouldn't get ten feet before that Qunari would gore you.”

“It's good to know you have so much faith in me," He remarked, tearing away from my grip, but staying hidden. He then furrowed his brow and held his head. "The voices, my duty…” He clenched his eyes shut, gritting his teeth as he kept repeating it. And so I slapped him in the face. Not too terribly hard, just enough to get him to snap out of it.

“Well  _ my duty _ is telling me,"  I countered, "to save your arse! Don't make me put you in a glyph. Because you know I will.” 

“I can't believe I'm letting you order me around like this.” He remarked, mostly to himself. But I could tell he could see the sense of my plan. He was no use to anyone with his head on the end of the Qunari's blade. He rubbed his cheek and I saw I had hit harder than I had meant to.

“Sorry, that was a bit rough.” I muttered, numbing his cheek with my hand.

“I do have to compliment on your backhand my lady,” he joked, the fighting getting closer to us. Using an open opportunity, he me by the arm and hiding us behind a corner.

“Well I have practice in smacking, Some men are just so  _ handsy _ ,” I teased back. He mumbled something under his breath. “What?” I prodded.

“I just..it doesn't surprise me is a-” He stopped, and both of our heads shot up when we saw an elf girl turn a corner.

“Shite a Venatori? Quizzy!” A shrill voice yelled. I took me a few seconds before it materialized that the blonde elf was referring to me. The Inquisitor was close behind and she quickly cast a spell.

I saw a fist of stone coming at me, and I tried to dodge, I really did. Ryaden even made a move to block the spell, but he wasn't fast enough. The  fist of stone hit me square in the chest and I fell over, the air knocked out of my lungs. I felt if my body had given up completely. I made the movements like I was breathing but nothing seemed to happen. The baby stirred in protest, knowing that something was wrong. 

_ Please Maker, don't have it end like this. _

I rolled over when I heard a roar. Ryaden's face contorted in rage, devoid of any other emotion. His eyes had glossed over, the red overwhelming any humanity he had left. His stance and aura animalistic, nothing of the man I knew. He slammed into the the nearest target, the Inquisitor. Her companion loosed an arrow hastily but it bounced harmlessly off his armor. His contact forced her to shoot backwards, knocking her into the stone wall. The building (if that's what you could call it) shook slightly as she made contact. Trevelyan furrowed her brow, trying to orient herself. But she was completely vulnerable to the charging Templar

“Quizzy!” The elf yelled, abandoning her target and rushing over to her fallen comrade. But she wasn't going to make it, Ryaden went to finish the woman. I panicked and shot up a barrier on her and his attack scraped against the magic, shattering it. He shot his eyes back at me, a hiss of anger escaping from him. It was all the Qunari needed to throw him away from Trevelyan. The Inquisitor looked at me in astonishment, knowing full well that no one else could've enacted the magical wall. Ryaden glared back at me, his eyes saying  _I'll deal with you after._ He roared again and slammed into the Qunari, actually making the bull of a man falter in the slightest. 

 Ryaden  fought fiercely, teeth bared, lost to his madness. Just as he was gaining the upper hand, I saw the dark haired Seeker finish her target and was on her way to assist her ally. I darted my eyes. The Inquisitor had been roused by the elf, and would soon be entering the fight again. Four against one. There was no way he could survive if I didn't do something. Remember how the building had shook when Giggles had fallen, I shot the strongest bolt of magic at a collapsing pillar. It began to fall and the ceiling began to shake. Everyone stopped and tried to dodge the crumbling roof, successfully diverting their attention. The stone fell, causing more of the room to crumble. A giant stone fell between my beloved and his foes, dangerously close to him. This seemed to spur something, as The Inquisitors party retreated, scrambling to get away from the destruction. More rocks fell, and Ryaden rushed toward me. My gaze was still locked on the Inquisitor, relieved that everyone would live.

Then cold metal hands grasped me by my throat and hoisted me up. Anything he was before, was gone. Bloodlust replaced any caring he might have remembered.

“You let them get away!” He yelled, smashing me into the wall. I clawed at his fingers to no avail, my airway beginning to close. “Mage filth,” he readjusted his grip and placed his palm on my forehead. Not even acknowledging the fact that the building was coming down on us.

“Ryaden…” I pleaded, my voice next to nothing.

And then the blinding flash of pain as my mana was ripped from me.

I couldn't breathe, let alone scream. But sharp ringing filled my ears as his did it again. My blood felt like it was boiling, my heart pounding. I went limp, my limbs feeling like a fresh wound, vulnerable and stinging. He released me and I smacked into the ground.

Burning pain everywhere.

I convulsed as my muscles refused to comply. My eyes felt as if they were going to pop out. I gasped hungrily for air, closing my bloodshot eyes. I was already seeing black spots in my vision, and it wasn't too long until I went still. 

\---

_ *Before* _

I was seething, as I got up into his face, well as much as I could. He backed up, he could tell he was in for it.

“You knew I had my trials to become a Spirit Healer today!” I snapped, pointing at a very pronounced love bite that I hadn't noticed until one of the Senior Enchanters took me aside and told me.  _ Very Awkward. “  _ How in the Void am I supposed to be taken seriously with  _ th _ _ is,”  _ I pointed to it again, “on display!” I grumbled and glared as my thoughts came out of my mouth. “ Maker,  they probably failed me for it.”

Was this all five times worse than it needed to be because I hadn't slept in the past week studying? Probably. I was so tense last night and he had coaxed me into a sensual make out session, stating that I needed to relax. And I finally gave in to his damn persuasiveness.  _ Bad decision. _

“Calm down Sol, they're not going to fail you-” He tried. But his attempt at cooling me off made me that much angrier.

“Shut it, you blighted  _ idiot!  _ ” I poked him in the chest, then pinned him to the wall.

“Hold,” he said putting a finger up. He turned away from me and quickly fumbled on the ground for something. He had sheepish fear in his eyes as he placed his helmet back over his head. I furrowed my brow at him. “I’m a blighted idiot, do continue,” he said, relaxing a bit.

_ Did he just put his bloody helmet on  _ ?

I stared at him in silence until I felt a laugh bubble up.  _ He followed my advice, wore his helmet in the face of danger. _ I bit my lip and swore as the laugh came out of my mouth. I shook my head at him.

“Smart move,” I tried to put a serious expression back on my face but utterly failed. He pulled me in for an embrace after taking the thing off again. He kissed my head, before resting his on it. “I’m still mad at you,” I said, not really meaning it.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger. “It was a selfish foolish mistake.”

“Damn you,” I cursed, little heat behind my words.

“Would you still think that if I said that I did a little Templar sleuthing and found out that a certain mage is to become a Spirit Healer?” He asked as he raised a brow.

“You didn't…”

“I did. Congratulations my love, you were so exceptional that even a mark of unbridled passion couldn't sway their decision.” He smiled, his visage truthful and proud. 

After a few moments the reality set in and I jumped in excitement, my heart pounding. 

I would have had to wait for at least a week before I got their answer.  He had really risked his position and safety in trying to find out for me.  _ Why was I mad at him again?  _ After I had calmed down from my joy a bit, I wrapped my arms around his neck, grinning widely. I kissed him hard for a few minutes, breathing heavily when we broke apart. “I'm gonna get you back for this,” I purred, pressing my lips to his again. He gave me his adoring smile as he brought me tightly to him. 

“Please do…”


	8. UPDATE (Ha! That Rhymes)

**Authors note**

Hello you! Yes you, the one with the eyes that is reading this story. You are a freaking great! You make me happy. 

I thought I would give a lil heads up on the state of this fic. I was brilliant, and passed out,  consequently smacking my head on a door. I am a little loopy, (I have done stupid things: spelling my name wrong, showering for 3 minutes before I realized I was still fully clothed, to name a few). So this will be put on hold for a month or two. I already make enough grammatical mistakes, and that's when I can actually see straight. So it's better if this paragraph is the only thing I try to write for a while. But this fic is in no means abandoned. 

Oh! And you really are lovely :D


	9. Winters Grasp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm back from my little concussive jaunt. Well kinda. This chapter is super short and not really finished, but I wanted to post something, to show I'm still kickin'

 

“Curious. Curious indeed.” 

“Yes, why would the person dream of  _ white dainty  _ flowers? It so clashes with the drab vibe of the Fade.” I put my hand on my chin as if I was really assessing the floating vase of daisies. “I mean, black would look so much better.” As if in response, the floating vase then was hit with a Winters Grasp, causing the flowers to freeze and crumble into a pitiful frozen pile.I nodded in approval. “Yes, yes I'm liking this. Much better.

“I find that most women prefer….what is it? The rose?” The familiar desire demon quipped, forming one that hovered above her palm. She gazed at it, looking at different angles, as if it were some dangerous thing.

The Fade shimmered and I saw multiple flashes of memories, mostly men presenting them to lovers, (or to ask for forgiveness) The one I focused on however, was a much younger King and Queen of Fereldan. He had a rose in his hand, and he was trying to give her the token of affection. He was stammering, sweating and shifting his weight nervously. But she wasn't much better, Her face was blush as she looked down at it. I saw her give a wide smile and a wave of confidence wash over her. she practically pounced on him, pressing their lips together in sloppy kiss. His eyes were so wide, and his hands didn't know whatto do, but finally settled in her long brown hair. She smiled against his mouth when he did and pulled him closer.

I couldnt help but let out an audible  _ Awwwwww.  _ But as soon as I did, Desiree clenched her demony fist, and the memory froze and cracked, falling to the ground in tandem with the summoned rose.  _ I don't care who you are, that was adorable. Demon or no.  _ Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“But not was I was referring to. You are the curious thing..”

“Not really,” I answered, sitting down on the greenish fade ground. I ran my hands through the tiny  ice shards that had fallen. But then it seemed like the world shifted upside down and I fell, the pile of frozen daisies landing on my face. Instead of getting angry, I  _ pffffted  _ the ice shavings off and let out a tired sigh. 

“And why is that?” The melodic voiced sang, as Desiree gracefully floated down to what was now the ground.  _ Figures _ . 

“I’m probably unconscious instead of sleeping. I can't seem to wrap my mind around what happened. I mean we were in the ruins, then everything gets fuzzy.” I frowned, putting my arms out in case the Fade flipped again. I would be ready damn it, 

“I was referring to the myriad of your emotions. How do you mortals live with them? But especially with you, there are so many, but they come and go so fast, none of the others wanted to approach you.” She explained, tilting her head to the side. 

I understood, I would be confused too if I were a demon. Rage. Despair. Confusion. Desire. Annoyance. Fear. Paranoia. Hopelessness. These were only a few of what I could feel swirling around my head. Each one took root in my mind for a moment before switching to something new. 

“Then why did you approach me?” I asked, cracking my neck.

“To try to understand mortals better. I know of your desires more than anyone else.”

“You want me to summon you.” I raised a disbelieving eyebrow. I cursed as the damn Fade took me by surprise and shifted ninety degrees. I landed in the side of my face with an oof.  _ Andrastes freckled butt, Stop doing that!  _ I huffed at the Fade before prying myself off the ground once more. 

“I want you to summon me. Is that too hard to ask? I could free you from your captors, then go on my way. We both get what we want.” She hummed, giving a tiny spin. I rubbed my eyes.

“No it isn't what I want. My desires clash with one another, I wouldn't expect you to understand. Not even you could fulfill all of them.” She stayed silent for a moment, contemplating.

“Then I will bide my time, gather power. So when you do finally decide to do the smart thing, I will be ready.” She turned her head to the side as if she heard something. “The revenant you sent back here, he is quite angry. He gives his regards, I wouldn't be surprised to see him soon.” I rolled my eyes. I really did not need this right now. I can't even get some peace and quiet when I black out. 

“Well you can tell him that I will crush him here as well.” I narrowed my eyes, forming a small fireball at my side. 

“I wouldn't be too overconfident, kitten. That will only help him. He feasts on Pride, and from what I can see, you have too much of it. Do try not to get killed, I am looking forward to your summoning. It would be a shame if I had to look elsewhere, for I do enjoy our little talks.” She looked bored as she put her arms above her head and disappeared with a little dance move. 

“I'm sure you would be so put out. We wouldn't want that, now would we?” I snarked to the empty air.

\---

I woke up to a weird situation. I was in one of the red tents, breathing hurt, and I felt hands rubbing a mass of goop into my hair. I wish I could say that this was the weirdest thing I had woken to, but the past few weeks had been a bit crazy. Holy Andraste, my head was being weighed down with the amount of goop. 

“Woah, easy on the health poultice there.” I advised, after recognizing the smell of elf root. Whomever it was stopped putting it on my head. After sitting up and waiting for the dizziness to fade, I brought my hand to my chest. I tried to take a deep breath, but i gasped in pain. Not really thinking too much about it, I reached my hand to the spot and got some of the poultice. I then brought it down to my chest, untying my robe a bit. It hurt like a holy fire where the stone had hit me, so when I rubbed the medicinal salve I sighed in relief. I then remembered I wasn't alone and that rubbing ones almost bare chest wasn't the most appropriate thing. “You can go ahead and smash my head into rock again.” I replied, embarrassment rising into my face. Fully expecting to see Ryaden, my mood dropped when I saw that it was Greenie that was tending to me. Noticing the quietness, I looked around in confusion. “Where are the rest?”

“Returning from the ruins. I grabbed you as soon as I saw you bleeding on the ground. Thought if I put enough stuff on the head wound you’d be okay.” He shrugged. I looked at how disheveled he was. his armor was dented and askew, his blonde curly hair all over the place. Even the crystals now growing out of his back were covered in dirt. 

“Yes well, you may have gone a bit overboard. We were low as it is, and I can imagine I'll need it to help our company. The dead and the inquisitor surely will have done a number on the others.” I started looking around, getting an inventory of the supplies I knew I had. I started doing calculations in my head, completely forgetting about the Templar in the tent. “Where are my manners? Thank you Greenie.” When I came back to focus I realized he was trying not to look at my cleavage (and failing), for I had forgotten to tie it back. I did quickly, and waved a hand in front of his face. “Greenie.” He snapped out of it then and acknowledged my gratitude.

“I'll...get more plants.” He stammered, before exiting the tent. It killed me as I finally thought about how young he was. Eighteen  _ maybe.  _ Probably explained his avid attention on my chest. 

I frowned as I tried to put my hair up, to get it out of my face. I winced as I nicked the spot on the back. After wrestling with it and failing, I tied it into a messy knot. I exited the tent and made my way to where I stored the medicinal plants. I began to do the work of putting them into flasks and making an assortment of healing materials. I honestly didn't know what I would need, so I made all of it. As I passed by Ginger, I couldn't quite make out what he was saying in his sleep. He was muttering about his sister Daisy, worrying that she would be taken by the winters cold.

As I was working, I took a small break and rubbed my forehead with  the inside of my arm trying to remember what a non-throbbing head felt like. Without much luck, in that department I tried to recall what happened.

 

Chapter to be continued...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am alive and coherent (surprisingly enough) I shalt update within the week.

I'm still heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrre.   
Also idk about fic social rules/norms  
This isn't a chapter. But I shall update within the week!

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, first fanfic. These are my characters, set in the world of Thedas. I thought it would be fun to explore a love story between an Apostate mage and a Templar in the height of conflict, especially after he was forced to take Red Lyrium. Most of the characters are of my own making, with mention of some of the main ones in the game. We got the perspective of the people in charge, but I wanted to shed light on maybe what it was like for the “little people.”
> 
> Also, I remember reading that some Red Templars kept their humanity for a while before they went all crystally and such. That even some of them regretted taking it, so that’s what I’m going off of (and the fact that it probably affects the memory).
> 
> Tell me what you think :) kudoses (kudi??) are always greatly appreciated and what keeps us fanfic writers going. Ma serannas my friends!


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